The bad boy chair

     It's not a real weekend shift on the rescue truck if you aren't dispatched to someone with waaaay too much ETOH on board. It was a very busy day too. I think in 24 hours we did 10 calls. It was all a blur at the end of the shift. So much in fact that I forgot to punch out. Needless to say, I was very tired. But I digress...
     So it's oh dark thirty and we get a call for a young woman at PD HQ having a seizure. We get there and there is a woman in her late 20's on the floor not responding to the ALELS or advance law enforcement life support. Which consists of making fun of the drunk person on the floor and then telling inappropriate jokes. Very effective, btw. The AHA should take heed. Anyway, this young lady did not respond much to verbal or painful stimuli. I was basically standing on her chest doing the sternal rub and didn't get much of a response. The fire officer that was on scene was a bit...um...excited. His exact words were "you need to load and go!". Pump the breaks there high speed. Lucky for us she was all of 100 lbs and was starting to come around. Apparently she went out with some friends and by the end of the night there was a big emotional explosion that I could only imagine that resulted in a pile of ripped out hair, broken containers of lip gloss, and a brush or two. Oh and when she finally came to, she told my partner that she was not going to talk to him or give him any information. I love it when people think Paramedics are figures of authority. I guess it's the uniforms (don't get me started...), the lights and sirens, and the fact that we can drive as fast as we want and park anywhere without getting in trouble.
    This "load and go" situation turns into a battle royale with PD and the 80 lbs of crazy that is in cell one. This person just so happens to be the aggressor to our other pt and probably the reason why they were there in the first place. She was not cooperating and was screaming and was struggling with PD. They had enough of her and put her in what we have affectionately dubbed the "bad boy chair". It's basically a chair that you can put a handcuffed individual in and then further strap down their torso and legs. Little miss club scene was not happy about his. In my 28 years on this planet I have heard some bad things come out of peoples mouths, but this "lady" had a few new ones. She was a class act. I have to say I find it funny that once people are either painted into a corner or in this case strapped to a chair, they try and bluff and threaten their way out. She was threatening to sue everyone and was trying to give orders. Just because you are loud does not mean you are going to call the shots or get your way. Oh and little miss sanity then asked/told the cops to "!@#$'n taze" her. Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot?
     Once she was put in "time out", I called for a second unit because it was probably not safe to transport them in the same truck at the same time. My poor partner would not have known what hit him. But it probably would have consisted of the contents of a purse or two. We transport our less crazy pt to the local ER without further incident. Alcohol makes people do strange things. But most of the time it just makes you a hot mess.