So the new year showed up with nothing too exciting. We only did two transports the the entire 24 hour shift. So this very stagnant shift gave me a lot of time to twiddle my thumbs and actually pay attention to the dumb, funny, and more often than not abstract things that I have either thought, uttered, or had the pleasure of being within ear shot. Here is just a list of the gems that were cranked out in the not so distant past.
"That meth is not going to smoke itself" - A less than enthusiastic medic's comment about a citizen of the "D".
"Hey...here's a dead body. Sorry" - A fellow medic describing a call that involved transport of a pt with active DNR orders and the conflicting family request.
"We turn drama in to trauma" - Well this was actually posted on facebook my one of the junior medics I served with in the USAF. Not sure if it is original, but it's all the more funny coming from him. You know who you are.
"Transporting an old person in full arrest to the ER without ever achieving ROSC is like saying, here you do the paperwork" - one of my many strokes of genus after a full arrest. I was probably cleaning up the truck with no one around to enjoy my brilliance.
"Come on! Hurry up! Walk the line!" - An accurate description of someone trying to finish up a call so they could get back to the football game.
<Note> You can't rush diabetes. Just FYI.
"We all want to be heroes, but more often than not we have to be the bearer of bad news" - A profound little nugget that fell out of my head while I was talking to a student about pronouncing patients and breaking the news to family.
"SOD!" - Sitting post and reading the side of passing trucks. This is the result of being bored and cooped up in the truck for way too long with an already goofy partner.
"Don't thank me, thank Zoll" - A some what cocky response to an accolade my partner and I received after a CPR safe.
I am sure last year, even last week was full of sarcastic one liners, profanity, and verbal beat downs sprinkled with a fine dust of profound insight into the human condition.
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