The other day I was working with a friend of mine when we recieved a 911 call not very far from our station and the hospital for that matter, for a person that fell c/o ankle pain. From the place (in the middle of the road) where this guy was lying to the hospital property was probably about 500 ft. However, to the ER was about a mile. At any rate, it is about 20 degrees outside and it was snowing lightly. My partner was not exactly enthusiastic about this call because it was late and she wanted to go to bed.
So we roll up to see just about ever vehile with lights on top of it in that town on scene. Just so we are all clear here, this guy was breathing, had a heart beat, and was totally conscious. However, he was lying on the ground with his knee pulled up to his chest yelling. It sounded very formiliar. Walking up I could hear all sorts of "y'alls" and "dag gums" and "do what nows". This was a good o'l boy from the deep south. Apparently "Bubba" as we will call him was visiting the Great Lakes State on business and decided to visit one of the local watering holes. This particular place has been known to attract the "biker crowd" and has the reputation for be a bit of a hole in the wall. Although in this particular area of the county, you get more of the "Wild Hogs" types than a hells angel. Anyway, as I digress...this poor fellow is lying on the ground, in the street, in the slush, and has a foot that is flopping around like wet noodle. I ask this gentleman what happened, and he proceeds to tell me in what sounded like something out of a Larry the cable guy bit. He says things like "I'm not from here" and "I been drinkin'" and "Man, you yankees got some slippery ass roads! I mean your ice is slippery!" ... ok...
Nothing for nothing, but I am not about to start treatment in the middle of the road while it is snowing and it is 20 degrees out. So we get him in the back of the truck and get his history, vitals, and so on. And then we are off to the ER. I call ahead just for a quick heads up. Mean while, Bubba proceeds to tell me how awesome he is and that how he is not used to "nice yankees" and that his wake boarding skills boarder on legendary. Oh yeah, he also keeps mentioning that Michigan has some "Slippery ass ice". Thank god for him, because I would have totally forgot. He also proceeds to tell me that he has great insurance but they won't cover his visit if they know he has smoked pot. Well what he actually said was something to the effect of "Buddy, I gots great insurance. Don't you worry meow. But they won't pay if they know I's was [makes hand gestures pertaining to smoking something illegal]". I respond with a very professional "totally...". And then his looped and very drunk story starts again.
Once we get to the hospital and roll by the nursing station, he promply gives a very southern fried "Hello ladies. How you derrin" and tells me you have to give'em a little some'em some'em. I'm sure everyone within earshot rolled their eyes. I give report to the RN and immediately appologize for any misbehaving he will do and turn over care.
I have to say that taking care of drunk people is a pain in the ass. Especially the ones that are mean, rude, or covered with vomit. This guy was the kind of drunk person that you want to respond to. Alert, quirky, funny, and other than the pain of his injury, in good spirits. You just gotta look out for that slippery ass Michgain ice.
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